A Note to Alice Tennur

¨You're my beggest fan¨, Love Joanna Smithe.

Dear Antonia: I clearly have not retained anything that you have taught me. I'm not in Cordoba, and that is all I can say properly. Thank you for making my year/ life by drooling that day in front of everyone and then continuing on as if nothing happened. You are a good woman, feliz navidad.

Oh Rly? Yeah Rly?

It's all about DIRTY OLD PROM QUEEN. I've been in stiches since I discovered it yesterday. You will love it, I assure. Added the link to the sidebar.

Enthropy

Today is a new day and its looking kinda old school. Let me take stock:

1) It is mid afternoon and I am wearing pyjamas. No, not lounging clothes, Hugh Hef style, but a yellow flannel snowflake number.

2) I have not left my apartment, but I have: watched Ellen, The Price is Right (why?) and fell asleep during Vicki Gabereau.
I also spoke to Aimee on the phone, scoped Rotten Tomatoes, pulled a couple of strings in the local entertainment biz and watched the new Variety Shac video multiple times.

3) My food intake has consited of: Lucky Charms, Yogurt, Granola Bar, Tea. I know two year olds whose pallettes are too sophisticated for this fare. I am twelve.

4) I just came up with a joke that is so cheesy and lame that it made me cringe, even after laughing about it for ten minutes. I do not feel like sharing it, but I'm sure it will slip out during the holidays once or twice and I will look to everyone with a still soliciting eye in hopes of generating some sympathy laughter, Joyce Behar-style.

Silent Pirates

Live quoting from my conference call with Bones and Aimee:

Aimee:"Kitty died"
A&V: "awww...sorry"
Aimee: "No it was kinda gross. I was eating nachos and watching her not move for two hours before I realized she was dead. I even poked her tail"
Alex: "Hahahaha, did you move her?"
Aimee: "Naw, I just left that for my mom"
Van: "Now I can come over to your house"

A&A: What's new in your life?
Van: "ummm..my room is dirty. Oh I got a new roommate. She lives upstairs, she's a Puerto Rican bodybuilder, I think."

Van: "I started rapping, like rhyming all the time. I want to be a rapper. I went to a bowling alley yesterday with Lexi and her friends, we started doing a kareoke rendition of Spice Girls song and during a 16 bar instrumental I started rapping".
Aimee: "At the bowling alley?"
Van: "That's my crowd...bowlers"

No, this is not a movie still from Lorenzo's Oil, I am that pale and whispy naturally. These are my girls, forever.

OMFG I'm Done!

I just finished my final essay for the class I would like to think of as "Bilbo Baggins' Hades". This is monumental, I am free, or at least semi-liberated!! Release, release, SALVATION, repeat.

I don't even care that it is snowing outside! So happy, so so satisfied. CELEBRATION TIME:
I celebrate by getting my groove on, walker and all.