Senile, Aisle 5
I am currently sipping a fuzzy navel 70's style, and decided to take this time to share a little event from my day. I have also decided that tequilla is a killer of children and tastes bad.
At around six o'clock this fine evening, doe-eyed and unassuming, I meandered into the Metro on Parc to pick up a few things...little did I know that I would be locked up in a feedback loop for what seemed like eternity, with perhaps the oldest being alive (older than fossils and dust). As I was rounding the assorted meats counter with a spring in my step that meant business to all those around me, I was drawn in by a small frail voice that said "misssssss"..it was a hissy miss, my favourite kind. I looked up to see an old woman starring at me with pleading eyes, holding some packaged meats. Being a decent person, I ambled over to see how I could help, carefully checking her face for band-aids, which would be a sure sign that she is coo coo cray cray nuts. No band-aids, good to go:
Fossil: (Holding meats) What is this?
Me: Bologna
Fossil: How much is it?
Me: $3.78
Fossil: What is this?
Me: Mortadelle
Fossil: How much?
Me: $2.79
Fossil: Anything with garlic in it? I need garlic in meats. In times of scurvy, syphillius and scabies, garlic cured everyone.
Me: (looking) I don't see any with garlic.
Fossil: You know what they have these days? Bird Flu, that avian business. You need garlic to cure that.
Me: True
Fossil: What is this one?
Me: Salami..it's $2.67
Fossil: They used to say, "you're full of bologna"
Me: Yes, but that's salami, not bologna.
Fossil: What brand?
Me: Piller's
Fossil: What?
Me: Piller's
Fossil: What-ners
MeL P-i-l-l-e-r's
Fossil: I don't know. Does it have garlic?
Me: No. It looks good though, I would take that one.
Fossil: (soul gaze) I've got a grandson. He likes garlic in his meat too.
Me: (brain implosion)
Needless to say this incident couldn't have lasted more than 5 minutes, but it left a lasting impression on me. Good for this old lady to be self-reliant and do her own groceries. Hats off to her crazy garlic-loving senility.
At around six o'clock this fine evening, doe-eyed and unassuming, I meandered into the Metro on Parc to pick up a few things...little did I know that I would be locked up in a feedback loop for what seemed like eternity, with perhaps the oldest being alive (older than fossils and dust). As I was rounding the assorted meats counter with a spring in my step that meant business to all those around me, I was drawn in by a small frail voice that said "misssssss"..it was a hissy miss, my favourite kind. I looked up to see an old woman starring at me with pleading eyes, holding some packaged meats. Being a decent person, I ambled over to see how I could help, carefully checking her face for band-aids, which would be a sure sign that she is coo coo cray cray nuts. No band-aids, good to go:
Fossil: (Holding meats) What is this?
Me: Bologna
Fossil: How much is it?
Me: $3.78
Fossil: What is this?
Me: Mortadelle
Fossil: How much?
Me: $2.79
Fossil: Anything with garlic in it? I need garlic in meats. In times of scurvy, syphillius and scabies, garlic cured everyone.
Me: (looking) I don't see any with garlic.
Fossil: You know what they have these days? Bird Flu, that avian business. You need garlic to cure that.
Me: True
Fossil: What is this one?
Me: Salami..it's $2.67
Fossil: They used to say, "you're full of bologna"
Me: Yes, but that's salami, not bologna.
Fossil: What brand?
Me: Piller's
Fossil: What?
Me: Piller's
Fossil: What-ners
MeL P-i-l-l-e-r's
Fossil: I don't know. Does it have garlic?
Me: No. It looks good though, I would take that one.
Fossil: (soul gaze) I've got a grandson. He likes garlic in his meat too.
Me: (brain implosion)
Needless to say this incident couldn't have lasted more than 5 minutes, but it left a lasting impression on me. Good for this old lady to be self-reliant and do her own groceries. Hats off to her crazy garlic-loving senility.
posted by A Tan at
7:45 PM
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